


Today I'm Thinkin' About (The Things That are Deadly)

by Mio_Draconis



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders Friendship, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders Needs a Hug, Author is dead inside, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders Needs a Hug, Deceit | Janus Sanders Needs a Hug, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Everyone is right, Gen, I feel like Roman's got both, I think that should be a tag, Imma add tags as I go along, Logic | Logan Sanders Is A Good Friend, M/M, Morality | Patton Sanders is a Good Friend, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Esteem Issues, ahhh, and there's Virgil, guess I'm doin that, maybe some fluff, or maybe I just suck at it lol, pls let Roman and Remus fix their relationship, self deprecation, tagging is hard, tbh they all need hugs, welp
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-21
Updated: 2020-11-18
Packaged: 2021-03-06 19:47:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 904
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26024443
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mio_Draconis/pseuds/Mio_Draconis
Summary: While Roman struggles with his crippling issues of self - worth that are only worsened by the whole Deceit situation, Virgil is fighting his own demons about his place as a light side. Janus is surprisingly vulnerable, Remus and Logan are confused, and Thomas is very, very tired. Patton just wants everyone to get along.With the obvious chaos, is it any surprise that Thomas and his sides are in for a lot of breaking down and making up, along with their usual shenanigans?The answer is crystal queer.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil & Creativity | Roman & Logic | Logan & Morality | Patton, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders & Deceit | Janus Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Deceit | Janus Sanders, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders & Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders & Deceit | Janus Sanders, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders & Morality | Patton Sanders, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders & Thomas Sanders, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders & Deceit | Janus Sanders, Deceit | Janus Sanders & Morality | Patton Sanders
Comments: 5
Kudos: 23





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hehe, this work was supposed to be mainly Virgil angst because boi be sad, but, well, I actually got around to watching the latest episode and I was hit with the feels. Like, I understand that Roman was not in the right when he made fun of Janus' name, but I also get where he was coming from when he says he doesn't trust Janus? I mean, what Janus says goes against a lot of what he knows and is accustomed to, the things he has lived by for so long. I'm guessing that when Thomas and Patton kinda agreed with Janus, he felt alone (one of the worst feelings, in my opinion, especially when you have issues with your self - worth).Regarding the mocking, no offence to Princey, but he isn't the most mature side, so I kinda saw the teasing coming. It was not a good decision to make at that moment.... But, well. It's a lot more angst potential, that's for sure. Anyways, onto the story!  
> Oh, and the title is from "Bury a Friend" by Billie Eilish. It seemed fitting, I think.

Virgil knew that he would never be a good guy.

For crying out loud, he literally represented anxiety. He pretty much factored in all of Thomas’ dilemmas.

Somehow, he hoped against all hope, that somewhere deep inside, he had that spark, the one that all Patton, Logan and Roman had, the one that made a light side so good. Something that showed that Virgil had the capacity to help, to protect. Protect Thomas from the dangers of the world, protect his new family from his old one, protect them from Virgil himself.

Deceit and the Duke made sure that those hopes were crushed. Wary as he was, he knew couldn’t stand against his former friends – his former family – and come out unscathed.

Janus – Deceit, he reminded himself, somewhat bitterly – in the courthouse, staring him down despite standing below him. Eyes that shone with the malice of betrayal were seared into his memories, clear as day despite Deceit’s vague yet poisonous barbs directed at him.

Remus, with familiar taunting yet foreign spite, chirping, “Ooh, guess the cat’s outta the ballbag! Despite his best efforts, Virgil could never stop being the bad guy~!” Contrary to what the others perceived, Virgil knew that Remus was speaking with unusual clarity, a pointed call out to what once was and what now is.

‘ _You did this,_ ’ he reminded himself harshly, ‘ _You brought this on yourself. You knew what the consequences would be, yet you left anyways. You **knew** it would hurt them, but you left them anyways. Don’t try and convince yourself that you don't even slightly regret how things ended, you **coward**_.’

A swooshing sound followed by a ragged intake of breath made his head snap up. The sides usually only used the Mind Palace when they needed to be alone.

The sight that met him made him freeze.

Behind him was Roman, which in itself raised red flags, what with the lack of a flamboyant entrance. As far as Virgil knew, Roman never failed to announce his arrival. If that wasn’t enough, the sight of Roman with red rimmed eyes and a slouched gait chilled him.

Without realising it, he was already up and rushing to the prince. “Roman,” he murmured, and Roman glanced up despondently.

“Hey Virgil,” he greeted weakly.

“Are…. You okay?” Virgil asked, feeling the first dredges of panic welling up in him at the mixture of concern and awkwardness he felt. His hands fluttered through the air, all nervous worry but unable to settle down on Roman’s person.

A slight sniffle accelerated his building fears. “Roman?” his voice quivered slightly, “Talk to me, buddy. What happened?”

Roman sounded so defeated and broken when he spoke.

“A - am.... Am I…. evil?”

‘ _….What?'_


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, it only took me what, almost three months to update this? Proud of myself.  
> Seriously though, I am so sorry for the delay. Thing got pretty bad at home, and I kinda lost motivation.  
> Thank you for everone who left a Kudos and read this! It really means the world to me!  
> Well, onto the next chapter!

Roman stiffened at his own words, but the tension bled out of his shoulders almost immediately after. What, really, did he have to lose by showing vulnerability to Virgil, who was possibly the only person who would understand where he was coming from?  
With a doleful sigh, he set to explaining, adamantly avoiding Virgil’s distressed and searching gaze. 

Virgil looked paler than ever by the time he was done. “What is it?” Asked Roman, concerned.  
Virgil opened his mouth, hesitated, and then shut it again. He finally settled on, “Nothing, don’t worry about it. Anyways, Roman, you aren’t evil. Annoying, sure, and sometimes very dense, but you’d never hurt someone on purpose.”

Roman’s eyes were wide. “I….” he began, “I don’t trust him, and I’m not sure I ever will. I shouldn’t have said what I did, I know that, but when he said that I was the evil twin, Thomas and Patton… They just stood there. They didn’t refute what he said. Virgil, doesn’t that mean that on some level, they agree with him? What if they really do think I’m evil, and they just put up with me because they have to? What if I’m not fit to be a light side?” Roman flinched at his own words, as if it physically hurt him to even say them. His eyes went glassy, and he blinked furiously, trying to keep the tears at bay.

Virgil couldn’t help himself. He grabbed Roman by the shoulders and pulled him in for a fierce hug, ignoring the other side’s startled gasp. “Roman,” He urged, “You are not evil. I know that, and the same goes for Thomas, Patton, Logan, and heck, even Janus and Remus. Janus was defensive, and he threw a verbal jab he knew would hurt. Thomas and Patton were caught up in the situation, so they didn’t respond with how they actually feel. We know you, Princey. You are annoying, loud, flamboyant and dense, but you are also brave, loyal to a fault, honest, open and kind. You make mistakes, but doesn’t everyone? What makes you so good is that you accept your mistakes, and you try to fix them, to do better. We love you for who you are, and when you forget your own value, we will always be here to remind you of it, you got that?”

Roman felt tears trickle down his cheeks uncontrollably. He buried his face in Virgil’s shoulder. “Virgil,” he gasped, “Virgil, thank you.”

Virgil smiled fondly, even as his heart ached for his friend. “It’s not a problem man, I got you.” He whispered, tightening his hold on Roman.

If they stayed like that for a while afterwards, well, nobody had to know.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm pretty sure this one was shorter than the last chapter, oof. Once again, thank you to anyone who has read this and left a kudos!

**Author's Note:**

> Ahaha, isn't this short? I will try and update as fast as possible, but I'm not sure when my brain will decide to cooperate with me again, yikes. Thank you so much for reading this, and I hope you enjoyed it. Please feel free to leave constructive criticism, I could always use some tips to improve! Once again, thank you!


End file.
